


Demons

by Dicey101



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Durincest, Fiki, M/M, fili & kili - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dicey101/pseuds/Dicey101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on this beautiful song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqI78S14Wgg</p>
    </blockquote>





	Demons

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this beautiful song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqI78S14Wgg

“Fili, come meet your little brother.” The fair-haired dwarf heard his father call. He put down his toy horse and ran down the hall as fast as his little legs could carry him.  
“Now Fili, you must be gentle if you are to hold him,” his father said once he reached the door. The young dwarf nodded, a smile wide on his pudgy face.  
They walked into the room and saw Dis sitting up in bed looking down at a small bundle in her arms. She looked up and smiled softly at Fili and motioned for him to climb onto the bed. He did, with a little help from his father.  
“Would you like to hold Kili?” She asked. Fili nodded excitedly, he was to happy for words.  
Dis gently placed the bundle in her son’s arms, showing him how to properly hold a baby.  
“Kili,” Fili whispered as if testing the name. He took in the sight of his beautiful baby brother, fast asleep in his arms.  
After a few moments, Dis asked if he was tired, to this Fili replied no. He could hold him forever.  
Dis eventually fell asleep, their father did too, and the young dwarf held his brother all through the night.  
“Kili,” he began, and as if by magic, the babe opened his eyes. Fili gasped lightly at the beauty of his brother’s brown eyes. Kili smiled up at his older brother, and Fili felt something strange inside of his chest, something that he had never felt before, something that would never cease.  
“I will always protect you, no matter what,” he whispered, and Kili snuggled into Fili. Fili smiled and placed a kiss to his brother’s head. 

***

From that moment on, Fili and Kili were inseparable. Fili was the only one that could make Kili stop crying, the only one that could put him to sleep, and the only one that could make him smile. Okay.. that wasn’t true, but the smile that Kili gave Fili was special; and he continued to give him that same smile for a long time. 

***

Around the time Fili and Kili were teenagers, they started to drift apart. For Fili, it was that strange flutter in his chest whenever he saw his brother. Those eyes that seemed to go on forever, his soft hair, his laugh, and that smile... that smile that he saw less and less of everyday.  
Fili didn’t know what was going on with his brother. Kili was changing before his eyes, not just in build, but in spirit.  
Little did Fili know, Kili was spirally deep down into darkness; depression. No body knew what depression was, which made everything harder.  
Over the years, Kili lost the happiness he had once had for everyone. He stopped talking as much as he used to, he lost his charisma.  
It killed Fili to see his younger brother in so much pain, but he had no clue how to confront him, or what he would do if did.  
He needed to help him, he knew he did.  
Kili’s demons were ripping them both apart. 

 

***

 

Kili had been happy for the whole month. This was a rare occurrence now. Maybe it was because Fili was out of town doing royal business with Thorin. Yes, that had to be it, Fili was gone, Kili didn’t have to feel that indescribable pain he got whenever he looked at his brother.  
Kili wasn’t stupid, he knew what it was. It was love, but not the kind of love one is supposed to feel towards their sibling, no; Kili was in love with his fair brother.  
He was his one. He was sure of it.  
He had known his whole life, but he could never tell.  
That is how it had started. The decent.  
“Fuck.” Kili muttered as his arrow hit just beside the target. He could feel it coming back. He growled and collected his things. He began walking home, the darkness already creeping into his thoughts, seeping into his veins, begging, pleading.  
Kili’s face contorted in pain and his strides sped up; he needed to get home. He couldn’t be out in the open for this.  
It had been to long, it needed out. They needed out. 

Kili rushed inside the house he shared with his family, and thanked Mahal that no one was home. He ran into the room he shared with Fili and shut the door.  
That is when he let the pain take over. He fell to the floor sobbing.  
He could never tell anyone about this even though they could see it.... but they never helped, so why should he try?  
He wouldn’t be able to explain it out loud, even though he could perfectly well in his head.  
The darkness, his demons, they hide deep within him. Sometimes, they stay hidden, but more often than not, they come out to play.  
They creep slowly from his stomach, to his legs, to his arms, it’s a heaviness in his limbs. Then it makes its way to his brain, trickling carefully into his veins until he can’t take it, and he has to cry, or scream, or bleed.

It’s been to long, Kili thinks. He knows this round is going to be a bad one. He crawls across the floor, sobs racking his body. He reaches his bed and reaches around until he finds the small blade he keeps hidden under there.  
He pulls it out, blows off the dust, and slices across his wrist, the physical pain instantly out-weighing the mental. The dark haired dwarf almost laughs at the relief.  
He lets the blood drip onto the floor, let’s the demons out, as if detaching from the host will cause them to die.  
He repeats the process a few times, and on his last one, Fili walks in the door.

***

Fili’s pack drops to the floor with a loud thud.  
“Fili?” Dis’ voice comes from the kitchen, “everything alright?”  
Fili’s eyes lock with Kili’s pleading ones. “Please, please, no,” he mouths at his older brother, desperation clear on his face.  
Fili blinks, a single tear falling. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Kili when he yells to his mother, “I just dropped my pack, I’m okay.”  
Kili lets out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Fili still hasn’t taken his eyes off Kili when he realizes he needs to stop the bleeding... the bleeding. He shudders and closes the door.  
“Fili, please don’t-”  
“No.”  
Kili breaks down and cries. Fili rips cloth from his shirt and moves around a bed to get to Kili. He quickly wraps up Kili’s wrist, and cleans the floor.  
“Fee..”  
“No.”  
“Please..”  
“No, Kili, listen to me.” Fili grabs his brother’s face in his hands and they lock eyes once more. Fili wipes away tears from his brother’s broken but beautiful face.  
“Listen to me,” he says again, and Kili nods.  
“You do not have to explain anything to me. I know this thing, whatever it is, has been haunting you for a long while. I don’t know what it is, or why it’s there, but I know you cannot explain it, so I will not make you.”  
A sound that only be described as relief escapes Kili’s parted lips and he collapses into his brother.  
Fili wraps his arms around his brother, tightly, protectively.  
“The first time I ever held you, I said I’d always protect you, and I plan to stick to that. I love you Kili, I love you so much. And as long as we have each other, everything will be okay, I promise.”  
Kili can only nod and clutch his brother tighter. Fili weaves his fingers through Kili’s hair. “I’ll help you get over this, I’ll show you the way, I don’t know how, but I will.”  
This is all Kili needs, and he pulls away slightly to look into his brother’s blue eyes. They sit there searching for a few moments. They don’t know who moved in first, but suddenly they’re kissing. It isn’t harsh, forced, or strong, like most first kisses, no. It’s slow, long, and perfect.  
They move together perfectly, and Kili knows now that he had been right. Fili is his one.  
And this was supposed to happen.

***

For the first time in a very long time, Kili was happy. He could finally call Fili his.  
The brothers worked on making Kili’s darkness disappear, and it was, everyday that Kili could hold his brother close, kiss him, love him, that all made the demons smaller.

But they would always be there, hiding.. waiting for their chance to come out and play once more.


End file.
